@TastyTuneTweets: I'm going door-to-door to promote my new gym. It's called "Jehovah's Fitness"
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@ddrwg: [Riding a saddled turtle] BATTLE TORTOISE, GOOOO!! [turtle just goes normal speed for turtles] Aww man.
@kimlockhartga: I should get something accomplished, but the cat wants me to sit with him right now.
@MarcyLane: When buying baked goods I always ask myself, "are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"