@lmwortho: I'm going to adopt a tapeworm. Perfect pet, cheap to feed, doesn't pee, bark, chew stuff or sit on your head. Best bit, it makes you skinny.
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@NicCageMatch: I would have suggested they just use a regular volleyball, but I guess the Olympics are special.
@Tw1tter_K1tten: Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the new hiding your report card from your parents.
@isabelzawtun: *walks outside to see an abandoned post-apocalyptic desert, humanity wiped out, no one to be seen* "Ugh the ONE day my hair looks perfect"