@lmwortho: I'm going to adopt a tapeworm. Perfect pet, cheap to feed, doesn't pee, bark, chew stuff or sit on your head. Best bit, it makes you skinny.
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@stonedcoldlazy: Today marks 5 yrs of being smoke free!! Now I spend my time finding new places to hide the bodies of those who've pissed me off!
@KimmyMonte: I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?
@PJTLynch: Has anyone checked whether cows really have 4 stomachs? Because it kinda sounds like a lie a cow made up once to get more food