@lmwortho: I'm going to adopt a tapeworm. Perfect pet, cheap to feed, doesn't pee, bark, chew stuff or sit on your head. Best bit, it makes you skinny.
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@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot
@daemonic3: "Hi, how much for a slice of pizza?" A slice is $2.50, and second slice only $1. "I'd like 3 second slices please"