@Westoff123: I'm going to buy a house near the St. Louis Airport and paint "Welcome to chicago" on my roof to confuse people who are about to land.
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@Naked_Superman: Mom: Sorry, I won't be able to come in today. My son's got stuck in the washing machine. Boss: Aw okay. Poor thing, how old is he? Mom: 27
@awordforaword: I finally got my first interview since moving to the US. Almost able to say something more romantic to the GF than "you're out of batteries"
@ParentNormal: Made a pact w/ my wife that if we’re 40 & kids haven’t stopped whining, we’ll meet at top of the Empire State Building so they can’t find us
@ItsAndyRyan: Me: Is there any particular way you don't want your name pronounced? Percy: Not per se