@ColoradoCrow: Im going to change my name on Facebook to "Benefits", so that when you add me it will say, "You are now friends with benefits"
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@JanineEB4: People should come with disclaimers like: May cause drowsiness or Will end up sleeping w/your bf or May induce homicidal ideations
@yenniwhite: As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I'm a mom and I'm like, Oh. OK.
@GrantTanaka: First man discovered fire. Then he invented the wheel. Then there was, like, 500 years where he just kept setting the wheel on fire.