@heidi420x: if i could choose one super power right now it would be the ability to delete my number from other people's phones.

@lawyerthoughts: Just when I think I'm 100% against the death penalty, I see a bright yellow hummer taking up two parking spots.

@TweetingDadGuy: Live tweeting from Sunday Mass! We're sitting. Now standing. Sitting. Sorry, should've been kneeling. Shit, that was embarrassing.

@mattZillaaaa: *lays in bed for 12 hours I guess I'll get up now *walks over to couch & lays down

@ChrisStokdyk: "PSST." It came from my waffles. "PSST," again. "What?" I ask, furtively. "You look really nice today." Complimentary Breakfast