@SamuelHLowe: I'm going to confess my love to this sore throat so it'll be gone when I wake up in the morning.
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@emmaberen: with absolutely zero exaggeration I think I can say that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
@dshack8: 6yo Son: Dad, why'd you spray cologne down there when you got outta the shower? Me: How's ice cream for dinner sound?
@audipenny: Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?