@amydillon: I'm going to donate these clothes I don't wear anymore to charity after I drive them around in the trunk of my car for eight months.
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@House_Feminist: It’s fucked up that probably everyone believes their pets share their political views
@OctopusCavemann: Me: Thanks so much for the edible arrangement GF: I sent you a dozen roses Me: oh GF: There’s a lot of blood coming out of your mouth
@CVTBaby: Him: Can you forgive me? *mental montage of me trying to figure out who this guy is* Me: Yes, but I'm really hurt so please give me time.