@joejwest: I'm going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle.
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@veggiefemme: A moment of silence for those who sacrificed themselves to determine which mushrooms taste good with pasta, which are fun & which kill you.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: I did pretty well. I left with four kids, and I came back with four kids. Wife: The same four kids? Me: I'll be right back.
@LinajkReturns: Talking with a 17 year-old who is 'living life with no regrets' reminds me of that time I got in a shouting match with a trout.