@hipstermermaid: I'm going to go to the gym and then to eat a Doritos Loco Taco, because I like to keep my body guessing whether or not I hate it.
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@HeyZeus666: Typical coworkers. They complain about management, but when it’s time to dispose of the boss’s body, they all pretend to be working.
@trojansauce: [rap battle] *drops the mic* *scrambles around trying to pick up the mic* [20min earlier] *other guy covering my mic in butter*