@hipstermermaid: I'm going to go to the gym and then to eat a Doritos Loco Taco, because I like to keep my body guessing whether or not I hate it.
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@LeagueofNope: No thanks, people who hum to themselves. I've seen enough horror movies to know that you probably just killed someone or you're possessed.
@grimpossible: "Hey son, we really love you but we posted a picture of you on Instagram and nobody liked it which is why we're giving you up for adoption."
@SortaBad: We can land a rover on freakin Mars but still no single-button to push for the ¯_(ツ)_/¯ emoji
@robdelaney: I'm literally typing this from atop a giraffe in Ghana. Her name is Coriander & we love each other.