@JohnLyonTweets: I'm going to invent an app that tells you where the nearest bar is with no guy on a stool playing acoustic guitar.
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@Playing_Dad: [God, wasted, creating humans] Angel: How do they cool themselves off? God: *takes a drink* Salt water comes out of them. Angel: How...Ok.
@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.