@TitaniumToplass: Just wrote "except for you, spiders >:(" on my Welcome mat so that should be the end of that

@WordUpBitch: The second I feel pressured to do something, I'm out of there faster than a dog who hears his name and knows it's bath time.

@bridger_w: I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson

@WheelTod: [Stick Insects Anonymous] Group Leader: "There's no easy way of saying this. But I believe one of you may be a plant."

@DanMentos: [terrorist meeting] "Let's hit Americans where they gather to shop" But how will we find these Targets? "Guys you're not gonna believe this"