@ShesARealGenius: [Me, watching my murderer wipe down everything as I'm dying]: "Oh, you don't have to do that, don't worry about it."

@pakalupapito: lobsters would be proud of themselves if they knew how expensive they were

@huntigula: [March 15] Brutus: Going 2 the senate? Caesar: yeah u? Brutus: yep it'll be killer Caesar: how so? Brutus: like cool u know rad senate stuff

@doktorj: If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition.

@kwirkyKerri: Never underestimate a well placed "that's what she said". Unless your boss is standing behind you. Thanks for the heads up Michelle.