@2tickytacky: "I'm going to lay right here in the doorway and give people a dumb look as they trip over me."- Damned dog.... Could've been me though.
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@ErikGators: Why does my wife think its weird I talk to a bunch of strangers on the Internet, but it's ok for her to talk to multiple cats.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Fact: If you get pulled over, as the cop is walking up to you, place an aluminum foil hat on your head and you disappear from his vision.
@TheToddWilliams: [grandma's house] Little Red Riding Hood: Are you going to eat me? Wolf: I just want my hoodie back.
@Brianhopecomedy: My son is explaining why my daughter is crying but I'm not buying it as I don't think she can even say, "Please kick me in the face".