@SheBanggs: I'm going to name my son Red so he'll grow up to be a wise sportswriter or the prison inmate who knows how to get things. Hopefully both.
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@DurtMcHurtt: People who leave their underwear at parks are either awesome at sex or terrible at dressing raccoons.
@david8hughes: Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas
@joeljeffrey: This time of year, I get sick of everyone writing an "X" instead of "Christ". I think it's time we all put the Christ back in Christ-box 360