@Geanina_26K: I'm going to nap so hard today, my pillow Is going to need a cigarette when I'm done with it
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@liamoryan: Rest of world: don't do anything crazy plz UK: fk u we used to own u watch this *does backflip *money falls out of pockets *cracks head open
@AHMalcolm: Conan: Texas recently had 9 earthquakes in a day. But don’t worry: Scientists are hard at work figuring out exactly what God was angry about
@squirrel74wkgn: In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works.