@JerseyRambo: I'm going to sit here and wink at you. It's going to be a very long wink. With both eyes. Please, by all means, go on with your story.
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@JediGigi: I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up.
@_theigirl: Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the shit out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
@TheDairylandDon: Once you understand they're unwilling time travelers dropped here moments earlier, the confused actions of squirrels suddenly make sense.
@GrantTanaka: showed up to a party wearing the same shirt as someone else, how did we both fit in one shirt