@IncrediblyRich: I'm going to skip home tonight because sometimes life is seriously brilliant. *throws confetti*
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@DavidAndRobShow: Bae: come over. Me: I'm doing the podcast. Bae: come over. Me: nah, I'm doin the podcast. Bae: my parents are out. Me: they can download it.
@PandAmonnia: *boyfriend calls girlfriend* Bf: "Hey Babe, I love you!" Gf: "we're breaking up" Bf: "no we're not, I can hear you just fine."
@HatfieldAnne: Life Lessons from the Petting Zoo: -Everything bites -So much pushing -Did you bring quarters? -OMG, goats have the weirdest pupils