@Dirty_Naomi: I'm going to start rubbing myself up against people when they've got nice food. If it works for my cat, it'll work for me.
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@Reverend_Scott: *bark* "What's that Lassie?" *bark bark* "Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?" *bark* "Ooh, dinnertime."
@causticbob: If you have a choice between ugly or fat, remember this. You can turn the lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the fat in the dark.
@QwertyJones3: [car dealership] "Why is some guy out there screaming insults at all the vehicles?" *Sees sign PRE-OWNED CARS* "Oh."