@Try2StopME: I'm going to the gym now. Not bragging. Just want you to know where to send the ambulance.
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@NightValeRadio: I know I sound like a broken record but tomorrow I'll sound like a misfiring engine and, next week, continuous loud television static.
@iinkedZombie: 5: Mommy said I'm a big boy and can't sleep in her bed anymore Me [sleeping on couch] she's right son
@KentWGraham: How come I need a complex, indecipherable password to get on Twitter but only a 4-digit number to remove all my money from an ATM?