@_Ashley_Jordan: I'm going to walk up to strangers and ask "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes, I will hand them a photo of me and walk away.
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@RealDMK: Whenever someone with a bumper sticker cuts me off I automatically dislike the cause they support. Right now I'm not too fond of Literacy
@Token_Geezer: A vegan, an atheist and a reformed ex-smoker walk into a bar. Everyone else in the bar leaves.
@bazlyons: [strip to the waist for my fight club debut] Opponent: "dude they meant the top half" *walks away* [I claim victory and retire undefeated]
@Dani_Feld: Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: *cries* Dr: Um, are you sexually- Me: *cries harder* Dr: .....Ok. Do you drink? Me: YES I BLOODY DRINK