@HeidiCF8: I'm going to write "I miss you" on a rock. Then throw it at your face. I just want you to know how much it hurts..
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@Lexxivy: If your boyfriend is ever about to break up with you, yell "what about the baby!" You'll be in a relationship for at least another 5 minutes
@shutupmikeginn: Spice things up in a first date by wearing a parachute and refusing to talk about it
@knot_eye: [ouija board] How are you feeling? *board begins spelling* O-O-E-Y--G-O-O-E-Y What the!? A cheesy board!? G-O-U-D-A--G-U-E-S-S
@sarcasticmommy4: Trying to remember where I hid all of my kids' gifts will be the real Christmas miracle.