@Michael_Erhart: I'm gonna be a professional farmer when I grow up. I've been wanting to get in that field for years.
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@ElKnuckelhombre: Me: Ohhh, MARITAL arts workshop...now I really feel stupid in this karate outfit. Wife to therapist: Do you see what I'm dealing with here?
@Josievorenkamp: Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some shit.
@batsly: I hate when I walk in on another guy in a bathroom stall and, since we're both on our phones, neither of us notices until I sit on his lap.