@bazecraze: I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: [archaeological dig] ARCHAEOLOGIST: I don't think we'll find anything here ME: *trying to get help digging out my swimming pool* let's just give it a shot
@iwearaonesie: *makes sandwich* *sits down to eat it* *sees dog staring at me* *rips off small piece* *gives her the rest*
@EJGomez: this toddler on the bus said "the wheels on the bus go round & round" & this guy yelled back "no shit Sherlock" & I can't stop clapping?
@Glove_Monkey: Put the spoiled milk back in the fridge and hope it gets better. - What I think when I hear someone is getting back together with an ex.