@bazecraze: I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas.
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@theshamingofjay: I change Siri to a man's voice and now it doesn't answer any more questions and turns off for hours
@fro_vo: "Hey Cyclops are you still dating Jean?" "No Storm, we broke up. You could say she's my..." *lowers sunglasses* *eye beams obliterate Storm*
@P1ssed_K1d: My dog eats too much food and throws it up. EVERYDAY. I swear to God if she keeps this up, she's going to look amazing.
@Tmoney68: Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting "Mean Girls."