@bazecraze: I'm gonna create chaos in my neighborhood by putting giant bows on all the cars the night before Christmas.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ComedicBust: [in a burning building] Johnny Depp: Use my scarves to climb down Me: WHERE DID YOU COME F.. JD: [transforms into a raven and flies away]
@joejwest: DAD: Sorry it's not a pony, honey. Best I could do LITTLE GIRL: [riding gigantic earthworm] This is Princess Doomtube. She shall be feared
@Briidashian: Being a diabetic has proved to be difficult. For example, I can't have a sugar daddy.
@JaymayAllDay: You know what celebrity they should get for Dancing With the Stars? That plastic bag from American Beauty.