@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.
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@mjkspeaks: [at airport] TSA: sir, you’ve been randomly chosen for a cavity search. ME: that’s cool i didn’t know my flight included a dental cleaning
@MrEd_EVH: I'm gonna make a alternate account so I can catfish myself. I know what I like so I may fall for it
@Sassafrantz: When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.