@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.
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@GrantTanaka: My wife is gone for the next 3 days, so if any ladies out there want to come over & yell at me to take out the garbage & not have sex, hmu
@ebrawley: Hello, I'm waiter, I'll be your Walter tonight. Wait, the other way around. Sorry, first day. Care for a glass of Walter? Ooh boy ok
@Kyle_Lippert: The masseuse asked if I wanted her to finish me, I said yes & then she ripped my spine out & said "Flawless Victory!"
@dysalexia: You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.