@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.
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@yoyoha: Just heard they're investigating a slaughterhouse in California for animal cruelty. IT'S A SLAUGHTERHOUSE
@UncleDuke1969: "How much for this toaster?" "An arm & a leg." "How about a leg & 2 fingers?" "A leg & 3 fingers." "Deal!" - Cannibal Pawn Stars
@madcaplaughs30: The first guy to skip a rock was probably all sad and just trying to toss the rock in the pond and was like "well, can't even do that right"