@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.
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@Carbosly: Me: My sex life is like your car. Friend: What? Sleek, performance-inspired, 6-speed, classic & acclaimed? Me: Nope. Electric powered.
@jjhartinger: [happy hour with friends discussing politics] me: I'm going to keep my mouth shut. alcohol: wanna bet.
@Tommytoughstuff: "Hey baby ditch the zero *stares silently until lenses transition into sunglasses* and get with the hero."
@Tmoney68: My dancing style can best be described as "Guy On Maury Who Just Found Out He Isn't The Father."