@just1fool: I'm gonna insert "comedian" in my bio and have my picture taken on a stage with a microphone in my hand so no one will follow me back.
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@dmc1138: Steve Miller: "Some call me the gangster of love." Rest of the Steve Miller Band: "Nobody calls him that."
@Brianhopecomedy: My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn't even come close to my 5 year old's reaction when I told him that there's no school today.
@ZGhaoN: Whale: Hey did you hear I have a new girlfriend? She's aaall over me it's crazy. Eel: For the last time barnacles don't count as girlfriends