@just1fool: I'm gonna insert "comedian" in my bio and have my picture taken on a stage with a microphone in my hand so no one will follow me back.
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@kumailn: Mustaches are the eyebrows of the lower face lol. Now that I have your attention, climate change is a real problem whether we see it or not.
@MrGeorgeWallace: Y'all are gonna be sorry when I figure out how to breed spiders and bees and my army of "spees" is stingin' and bitin' you and shit
@WildeThingy: I used to think alcohol silenced the voices in my head until I realised it had just moved them to my mouth.
@PeachCoffin: My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one's ever going to visit her again