@just1fool: I'm gonna insert "comedian" in my bio and have my picture taken on a stage with a microphone in my hand so no one will follow me back.
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@NYC_Blonde: That touchdown dance is exactly the same as mine when I wake up in a guy's apartment and his furnished apartment has a nice view.
@peachesanscream: New boyfriend is allergic to kitten so can't keep him :( He's ginger & named Tom. Friendly. Comes when called. 28yrs-old & works in IT.
@TheDreamGhoul: I watched Mad Max and now I'm riding my dog around my living room using two bananas as guns
@shutupmikeginn: Sea turtles happened when god got stoned one night and wondered what would happen if a frisbee was a lizard.