@E_lok44: I'm gonna nail horseshoes on my nikes and gallop behind joggers
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@joejwest: [knocking at the door] VOICE OUTSIDE: Open up this is the fashion police! ME: [furiously flushing bandanas down the toilet] JUST A SECOND
@NaaN_Conformist: Don't hate on Americans for not learning a foreign language. Hate on Americans for not learning English.
@thagr8short1: I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there.