@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm gonna play on a Slip n' Slide in my front yard tomorrow morning while the kids on my street wait for the school bus. #Hero
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@Brianhopecomedy: Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics.
@J0hnnyBlaze: When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time
@AndyAsAdjective: This is probably a controversial take but I think the sanitation worker responsible for garbage collection on Sesame Street should be fired.