@laurajennyjo: I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit
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@tastefactory: I left a trail of rose petals leading to the bed and on the bed was a note that said "This is what happens to roses who cross me"
@Underchilde: If you could go back in time, would you kill Hitler or just watch movies that aren’t about superheroes?
@KrunkedRobot: Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.