@1CleverGirl1: I'm gonna try this if it ever happens me.
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@LaziestCanine: Murderer: IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU Me: wow your hands are so soft Murderer: omg really Me: [caresses his hands] what moisturizer do you use
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist
@sad_tree: [getting my picture taking with the sports team mascot] "I know you're not really an armadillo"