@LadyBombs: I'm good now. I pretended the vegetables I was chopping were actually people. It helped.
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@moose_chocolate: "Sobbing" autocorrected to "throbbing" and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction.
@DaddyJew: [spelling bee] Narrator: relax Contestant: ok Narrator: I'm sorry but that's incorrect C: what? N: our next contestant...
@VanVeenB: Tried pushing her against the wall to kiss her like all you guys suggested. Put her head right through the drywall. Goddam cheap motels.