@ShittyComedian: I'm great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
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@chuuew: ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else
@Brianhopecomedy: "Daddy, I-" *presses button for soundproof backseat divider Wife: "HOW MUCH DID-" *presses button for soundproof passenger seat divider
@Underchilde: Starting a blog that’s just reviews of the food I steal out of the fridge at work.