@ShittyComedian: I'm great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
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@NoogsCorner: Women always complain about periods. Talk to me when ovaries become supersensitive, hang in a thin sac and you accidentally sit on them.
@ariscott: Social media: We're getting rid of chronological order. Everyone: NO! SM: Cool, right?! Everyone: NO! SM: Glad you're excited!
@Poopy_Pizza_Pal: *grammar police reads ransom note* "Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead" *grammar cop dies* "Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"