@ShittyComedian: I'm great at making pancakes and women uncomfortable.
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@BassoonJokes: all my dance moves look like i'm trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
@dru0887: No, LinkedIn. I would not like to link my Twitter account but thank you for trying to get me unemployed for life.
@tnylgn: If you're wearing khaki above the waist I'm going to assume you know everything about every animal.
@urfavoritejoel: I say "Hey man, I got your back." He thanks me until he collapses from being spineless. I give his back to an infant. "Baby got back." I say