@LackOfShame: I'm "had to actually call a girl on the home phone to ask her out while hoping my mom didn't pick up and start dialing" years old.
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@WhaJoTalkinBout: [text] Hub: I have to go to the doctor. Me: Is it your eyes? Hub: Yes! Me: Is your vision blurry? Hub: Yes!! Me: You're wearing my contacts.
@Reverend_Scott: *Clark Kent takes his glasses off* Jimmy: "OMG, it's Superman!" *Clark puts his glasses back on* "OMG, Clark! You just missed Superman!"
@jazmasta: By the way it was me who set those sheep free to roam around the courtroom during your divorce hearing. In case ewe were wandering.
@cwhudson: [couple who talks via walkie talkie] GIRL: [into walkie] this relationship is over, over GUY: *cries into walkie* it's roger isn't it?? over