@38percentsure: "I'm half black and I'm trying to decide who I want to have kids with. Do I want them to have every advantage in life, or be able to dance?"
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@yaboydil: Guess who I ran into today, Billy. "Who, dad?" Your dog, son. I hit your dog with the car.
@GrillinChillin9: Eve: Wrong hole! Adam: Sorry, it's my first time. How do U know it's the wrong hole? No one has done this before, it's just us two you know
@KenJennings: If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking.
@Jennifergr8: God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese.