@CorkyCrash: I'm happiest when people tell me "Don't be a hero" because there's absolutely no way I'm going to disappoint them.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kiel_phillips: *Bee lands on flower covered in another flower's pollen* FLOWER: What's that? BEE: I can explain F: I don't want to hear your lies, Ian
@QwertyJones3: Relationship status: I'm about to go put on my camouflage pants so my family can't find me on the couch.
@12spoopy11u: Sally sells seashells by the seashore. Her monopoly has left the seashore economy in shambles. 86% of hermit crabs are now homeless.
@KattWillliams: Did you know that the new iPhone 5 helps people lose weight? When you pay for it you can't afford to eat for a month.