@technowarlock1: I'm having a little bit of trouble right now.
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@weinerdog4life: I'd like you to meet my family, my wife Sharon, my son Carl, and this balloon that follows me around
@juliussharpe: I like to pretend I'm on "American Idol" by holding a piece of paper with a number on it and running out of a room like an idiot.
@squirrel74wkgn: Cop: Why are you speeding? Me: I'm super late for work Cop: Ok, I need you to slow down Me: Sorry. I'm.....super....late....for......work