@charliedelta7: I'm having a very hard time believing that money can't buy me happiness. Especially since I'm constantly smiling when I have it.
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@ch000ch: i'm wearing a jetpack to my job interview tomorrow so if they turn me down i can disappoint everyone there by just walking out calmly
@dvoted_hubsand: I cant use facebook cuz everyone making popular comment I wish I thought of first, like "thank God it Friday!" or "Im pregnant of baby"
@tastefactory: My wife caught me looking at a seagull at the beach so now we're in this big fight.