@charliedelta7: I'm having a very hard time believing that money can't buy me happiness. Especially since I'm constantly smiling when I have it.
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@CopBroughtPizza: and now for my next trick, i will saw a women in half. for this i need a volunteer. how about...MY EX WIFE SANDRA WOW I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE
@neiltyson: Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat.
@ShipInTheKnight: Twitter is like a conversation at the water cooler. If the water cooler was full of vodka. And you could smoke. And the boss was out of town