@Cheeseboy22: I'm helping the sharks celebrate their big week by throwing cats into the ocean.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Book_Krazy: [Airport security] Guard: Your flight leaves in 5 minutes Centipede: No problem. I'll just run. I have 100 legs. Guard: Remove your shoes
@roggyie: If my "check engine" light would check my wallet, it would know there's nothing I can do about it.
@iwearaonesie: wife: What happened to your face!? Did you get in a fight? [flashback to me trying to buckle my toddler in his car seat] me: Yes