@Cheeseboy22: I'm helping the sharks celebrate their big week by throwing cats into the ocean.
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@Dr_awfulpants: I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. *my eyes hide a whoopie cushion behind my skull*
@Writepop: "Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome." - Pew Pew Pew Research Center
@HairyJew4Life: The doctor just told my girlfriend and I that the baby is coming early. Like father, like son.