@topaz_kell: I'm in a constant battle between wanting a hot body and wanting a hot fudge sundae.
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@HenpeckedHal: When someone tells me that the best part of their job is getting to talk to people all day, I'm too frightened to ask what the worst part is.
@usermcuserface: You start a mosh pit at the orchestra one time and all of a sudden you're "banned for life" and "arrested".
@kivtur: *steps out of the time machine* Me: what year is this? Wife: Stop playing with the washing machine.
@shot_of_cabo: If you start a sentence with "Let me reiterate..." I'm gonna ignore it the second time too.