@1evilidiot: I'm in a long distance relationship. My girlfriend's in the future.
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@Wakenbake77: If you find a fry on the floor and you don't share it with me, we can't be friends. Don't touch me. Monster.
@Darlainky: "Sorry about this, but I ran out of allergy medicine and it's spring," I say to the frightened pharmacy clerk through my hazmat suit.
@faisaladam_: I just saw a poster that said "have you seen this man?" With a number to call... So I called the number and told them "No."