@NurseMurderer: I'm in that fun part of a relationship where everything is new and exciting and we are learning things about each other and I don't poop.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@doktorj: "Vintage designer purses are not a retirement plan," says my accountant while rubbing his temples.
@CloydRivers: Camo is proper for any occasion. It's good for drinkin' beers, huntin' deers and scarin' queers. Merica.
@Jake_Vig: POLICE: POLICE! OPEN UP! ME: My parents never loved me. POLICE: NOT EMOTIONALLY! OPEN THE DOOR! ME: That makes way more sense.