@donni: "I'm in the best shape of my life!" -Newborn baby
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@knot_eye: Me: You say all the right things. Her: I didn't say anything. Me: Shhh Don't ruin this for me.
@ItsAndyRyan: "The N stands for number – so no need to say 'PIN number'. "Terribly sorry, I'll start again: 'You're dead if you don't give me your PIN'.
@SeanEmeny: My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!
@noog: God: Don't eat that Apple. You can smoke this plant I made instead [20 min later] Adam: Sooo hungry Eve: Me too Adam: That apple looks good