@WilliamAder: I'm jealous of people who have more than one ab.
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@cupcakelynda: Just opened the freezer and the vodka literally rolled out into my hands, no way I could ignore this sign from god.
@KalvinMacleod: Dave's coming over "Dave from work or loud and obvious Dave?" [outside] THE RAIN HAS MADE ME WET. I AM WEARING PANTS. MY EYES ARE BLINKING
@LeslieInMpls: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 85,432 times, you're a weatherman