@WilliamAder: I'm jealous of people who have more than one ab.
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@Brampersandon_: FLIGHT ATTENDANT: sir calm down ME (having panic attack): sorry I've never flown before PILOT (over intercom): dont worry neither have I lol
@WilliamHale1: A wise man once said... absolutely nothing. He let her vent and then they had sex afterward.
@iamspacegirl: Me: oh hi! Did you come over because I'm sad? How do you always know when I need you? Cat: get me my damn jingle mouse. Me: I love you too