@weinerdog4life: I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to help me put a bunch of ducks in my car.
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@sofarrsogud: Yeah, but is it Tyrannosauri Rex or Tyrannosaurus Rexes? *The Jehovahs Witness slams my own door in my face
@nv7281: If "The Breakfast Club" were filmed today, it would be a silent movie about 5 teens looking at their phones.
@KalvinMacleod: INTERVIEWER: what’s your greatest strength? ME: I’m good at untying knots INTERVIEWER: oh thank god can u get these running shoes off of me?
@UrplePingo: LOL there's like 20 guys w/ "Female Body Inspector" windbreakers that's hilarious they're seizing my hard drive & business records LMAO