@BadJordon: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten.
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's a hardware problem.
@ArfMeasures: DATE: I'm a historian, I love the mediaeval era ME: [trying to impress her] *dies at 28*
@realHamOnWry: Her: Why are we in this McDonalds drive though? You promised we were going for a romantic picnic under the stars. Me: *Opens sun roof*