@BadJordon: I'm just a boy, standing in front of the toilet paper aisle, trying to decide whether I want to wipe with a pillow, a cloud, or a kitten.
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@michael_raphone: [In the gym] hey guys it'd be a lot easier to lift these weights if we worked together
@LuckoftheDraw86: In a room full of idiots screaming their opinions at the top of their lungs, be the guy in the corner doing finger guns with his reflection.
@dril: my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl