@Priscilla_YEAH: Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand".

@IntoxicaTweeted: My wife is constantly hiding things where they belong.

@mo_vitaluna: To all those out there named Christian but are atheist, LOL Sincerely, The rest of us

@ghostkrogh: [pearly gates] st peter: welcome everybody- *i run up and slam dunk an imaginary ball thru his halo and then hang on it like it's the rim*

@ColoChiver: Is life fair? Short answer: No. Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooo.