@envydatropic: I'm just a girl standing here wishing I was as thin as my patience
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@dyldonot: "omg you're covered in blood! are you ok?" [cut to me blending a tomato but I cant get the lid on properly] you should see the other guy
@jennifereblue: I don't remember all of last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome!
@iwearaonesie: wife: how is it outside? me: windy. almost blew one kids hat off and some guy's trying to figure out how to get his smart car out of a tree
@DadandBuried: My favorite thing about decorative towels is how you're not allowed to use them. Because nothing says CLASS like useless towels.