@SodomyClown: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to get in her trunk or she'll have to do this the hard way.
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@DeanOkay: I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers.
@WilliamRodgers: YOU THINK CONDOMS ARE STUPID??? My 2yr old just cried for 45 minutes because the TV in our car isn't as big as the TV in our house...
@BoozeWallet: MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming
@OneTrickTofani: *proposes to girlfriend, accidentally dropping the ring in the ocean* "I'll still marry you" No. I'm married to the sea now *dives in*