@CindyMeakin: I'm just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for.
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@Jaywoo74: Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE
@TheBoydP: If you don’t believe in evolution how do you explain such striking similarities between the doughnut and the bagel?
@AnitaHelmet: When it comes to sex, I really need to have a connection. Otherwise the page just keeps buffering and it takes FOREVER to load.
@daemonic3: THERAPIST: My suggestion for you: Therapy dog ME: Ok [next week] THERAPIST: Well? ME: They told me I don't qualify to be a therapy dog