@CindyMeakin: I'm just a girl, standing in my kitchen, forgetting what I came in here for.
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@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
@david8hughes: [family game night] Me: do u understand now, grandma? U understand the rules now? Mum [tappin my shoulder]: she gets it. Loosen the headlock
@envydatropic: The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong
@KarenKilgariff: When you die, you walk down a tunnel of light and then that sentient paperclip from MS Word pops up and asks you what you want to do next.