@lecalabara: Im just an average guy with 2.4 kids.
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@TheMichaelRock: Whenever you're feeling down and out, just remember that there's people walking around with Twilight tattoos.
@ashmensch: That's me, I'm the coroner, That's me with the sharp knife, Removing all your organs.
@mindykaling: When I wear those trendy sports bras with a million straps I get stuck in them like a seagull in a six pack ring