@DivorceDiva: I'm just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
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@Elizasoul80: [God creating mosquitoes] "I wonder how I could get everyone to spray chemicals on themselves and also slap their own faces."
@SocialustGal13: Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. Guess they don't like random people coming up to their door.
@Dawn_M_: [making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"
@aprilmaywilson: Apparently it's 'inappropriate' to show up at your therapist's home to swim in her new pool even though your 'boundary issues' paid for it.