@DivorceDiva: I'm just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Apparently "cool story, bro" is not an acceptable substitute for "congratulations" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant.
@celebrityhottub: I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream "WE FORGOT KEVIN!"
@adamrensch: *walks into Kinko's* YO I NEED A CAT SCAN "I'm sorry sir, we don't--" *opens bag & removes a terrified cat* I ONLY NEED ONE COPY. IN COLOR.
@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.