@MummaCrazy: I'm just gonna go ahead and change my boys names to "Stop making that stupid noise" and "Where are your shoes?".
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@roboticcrab: *releasing hundreds of balloons from the ceiling onto the dance floor* these are all full of my breath. the inside of my lungs is touching you enjoy your dance
@VerifiedDrunk: Twitter handles are what would happen if the DMV let everyone put whatever they wanted on their license plates.
@GlumGeorgeLucas: I wish I gave Darth Vader different last words. Before he died, I wanted him to mutter, "I should have stuck to pod racing."
@TheToddWilliams: [beach] ME: Sure is beautiful here HORSE: Yup ME: Lovely sunset too HORSE: Uh huh ME: So...You want a drink? HORSE: Nice try