@briangaar: I'm just looking for a woman who is smart, funny & can drive a getaway car tomorrow morning at 8
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@jordan_stratton: I'm sorry, sir, but your cholesterol isn't high enough to buy this Hawaiian shirt.
@hpb777: I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet.
@realHamOnWry: The harder you slam the door walking out on an argument ...the more likely you have to go back inside for your car keys.
@purplefuzzygirl: I don't get why he counts the beer before he leaves to work... There's never any left when he comes home. Idiot.